Thursday, April 3, 2014

people stuck in their past

As most people get older (and sometimes wiser), they change.  Sometimes they only shift their hobbies.  They used to collect baseball cards, now it is Lego sets.  Other times, it is their unique personality.  Quiet and shy previously, then break out into a vocal and confident person. 

Others will move from their hometown and create new friendships once they settle into a quiet village or the big city.  Adults will dive into a career they love (or hate) and will acquaint themselves with new dynamic people they truly get along with (or fake to like).

Yet some people will stay stuck in their comfort zone.  They will join Facebook, begin communicating with the people they grew up with.  Laugh and joke with old friends about the good old days. They will spend minutes or hours everyday reliving their past as if it meant the world to them. 
flashback friday high school picture Fred Lechuga

In a lot of examples, the time is spent with high school or college friends which for most meant 4 years of friendships.  Four years.  Yet they spend an enormous amount of time on a daily or weekly basis, looking back at the 'good times', saying..."Man, those were the good old days."

The individuals that do not want to make the effort to make a life transition, want you to stay stuck in time with them.  They don't want you to venture out and become 'better'.  They don't understand that life goes on and 4, 6 or 10 years of your entire lifespan does not equal YOUR life story.

For some it is even your family that cannot adjust to how you became a new and improved person.  For example, they might have seen you growing up as a fat, shy and non-athletic kid and now...you are running marathons?  Their thought is, how is that possible?  How can a fat kid run a marathon?

You see, no matter how you physically or mentally change, some people will never adapt their image to the new you.  The ironic part is that in some circumstances, now they are the ones who are overweight, non-athletic and playing games on Facebook or look at Throw Back Thursday photos of their "skinny selves"...from back in the day.  For some folks, this may be what they see and do the "rest of their lives".

In other lives, an individual close to you in your adult life may want to hold you back too.  It can be a husband or wife, co-worker, new friend, acquaintance, mentor, etc.  They will attempt to talk you down from accomplishing goals.  Why do they do this?  Because...they have not had the courage to begin new adventures or even set goals as an adult.

Some close friends or family members just want to stay in their comfort zone.  This is where they feel comfortable and they have accepted that they do not want to make any effort in their life to make changes.  That would require work.  This comfortableness might have been created way back in the school days or for others it might have developed once they got married or started their career.

actions today will get you to your goals


So what do you do when you come across these people?  Of course that is up to you to decide because I know it is not easy to handle.  I do provide some tips to reduce the unnecessary nonsense in your life so you can continue on to your new journey and accomplish your new mission in life.

7 Tips to Reach Your Goals
  • Reduce the amount of time you spend on social media with people who are not trying to improve themselves.
    • IF they do not have similar goals or tastes in your life NOW or where you are heading, what is the point of the conversations you have with them?  Sure it is okay to say hi and touch base, but be aware of the time you spend with them.
    • Minutes here and there add up to hours on a weekly basis that could have been used to read, write or workout.
  • Increase the amount of people you follow on Twitter, Facebook, Google+ who are DOING, not talking.
    • If you want to be a runner, follow runners who are running.  If you want to be a triathlete, follow triathletes who are accomplishing.  Simple as that.
  • Reduce the negative people in your lives.
    • If they are complaining about their life, sports, jobs, politics, religion...it is all just negativity.  
    • What is the point of reading that junk or adding feedback to that?  What will that get you?  How will that get you to where you want to be tomorrow? 
  • Read books, blog posts, etc. about people who accomplished what you want to do.
    • There is SO MUCH knowledge out there...Find, use and apply it.
    • Want to become a cyclist?  Read about cycling. 
    • Want to know more about eating clean, read about eating clean.
    • Want to write a book, listen and read about writing.
  • Don't spend time trying to change others.  It is their life, let them be.
    • You can only control your habits and life.
    • If they want to start eating healthy or running and they see you are into that...they will ask you once they are ready.
  • Talk to your family about your goals.  Communicate your workout and race schedules.
    • If you are married or dating and/or have kids.  Communicate with them!  Show them your schedule, tell them what your goals are, let them into your hobbies and aspirations.
  • Create goals that can be worked and balanced into your current life.
    • It is not fair to your family if you are gone every Saturday and/or Sunday for 6 hours to run, cycle, etc.
    • Figure out a way to make goals that can be accomplished while still contributing to your family.
    • Try to balance your life as much as possible.

Do not let excuses or people hold you back from becoming who you are meant to be.  Let your true talents blossom and max out.  You owe it to yourself and the people who you might eventually motivate.  (When I started losing weight, I did it for myself, I selfishly never thought I could motivate anyone to start running or losing weight.)

When I went through my weight loss and running journey I lost a lot of old friends and now spend a lot less time with certain family members.  For some people they might see this as bad, but guess what...IT IS MY LIFE.  I will do what is best for me, my wife and my child.  If someone cannot grasp my thinking, and cannot relate to it...then they probably do not know the new me.

Who or what is holding you back?  Why?  Take actions today that will get you to where you want to be tomorrow.  What are you waiting for?





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4 comments :

  1. There are so many time-wasters and energy destroyers out there. Sometimes I need to scale back on social media to make my goals a reality. I am glad it exists though, because it's given me a chance to see the huge changes some friends made since the 4 years passed (long...long ago). It's good to limit the time on social networks though! Now- off for a run!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the comment Raina. You are absolutely right. A lot to learn from others (on social media), but sometimes people spend a bit too much on there and take away from accomplishing real life goals.

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